May 14, 2017

How Mommyhood Has Made Me Stronger

How Mommyhood Has Changed Me

I have previously shared an article about how I struggled to get pregnant for several years and lost 2 babies before I had my son. The heartbreak cannot compare to anything I have ever experienced in my life. It took all of my willpower to keep focused on life, to go on.

Just last year, I learned that I was pregnant again, for the 4th time. I was so confident that everything would be fine; after all, I already have a son, what else could go wrong? Oh, boy was I ever wrong! Long story short, we waited for another 9 weeks for a heartbeat, and I heard the familiar news – embryonic demise – another blighted ovum. Why me?

I have my little one to focus on, but a mom who has lost not one, but three was just too much. I cried for days, but I had a ray of hope – my little sunshine. This tiny little boy was my source of strength. It was difficult, but he helped me pull through. It was rough; I cannot explain what I felt. I am and will always be thankful for Jared, but I couldn’t help thinking of the other three I lost.

I will always think of them because they are my children. They will always make me cry when I think of what could have been. They are heartbreak, each one of them, but they are also my strength. They are the reason why I know how strong I am, how I could find a rainbow despite the darkest of days.

And of course my little Jared – my big miracle, my life, my love. I will always be thankful for him. He is my wall, my light. I move forward because he holds my heart and my hand.

Mommyhood is difficult; its road is full of challenges and heartaches. But it is a road I will never regret treading. Moms, you are heroes. You are stronger than you let on. Believe in what you can do, and look in your children’s eyes, their eyes will show you just how precious you are.

Happy Mother’s Day to the heroes of our home!

The following two tabs change content below.

Wayne B. | Pinoy Trends

Wayne is a mom to a toddler. She's passionate about breastfeeding. She loves movies and series, action, sci-fi and fantasy. Not so much on love stories. She is a kitchen scientist. Pet peeve: know-it-all.